Someone makes a statement that causes your skin to crawl.
You are speechless and angry.
What do you do? As a leader, ask yourself some questions.
Do I remain silent or engage the comment further?
What is the context of this moment?
Was the person just joking?
Will there be retaliation or loss of sales if I speak up?
Each of us is unique. As leaders in our business, our words matter.
Words are tools.
Words can tear down but they can also motivate, encourage and uplift others.
Everyday casual stereotypical statements, if not addressed, can foster a culture of discrimination and isolation.
Below are 4 strategies to disarm biased statements in your workplace.
TAKE A BREATH
It’s important to take a moment to pause and take a breath.
This will give time to ascertain the risk of speaking up.
You also give yourself time to compose a thoughtful and calm response.
INTERRUPT IT
Disrupt bias.
Disarm it every time. Consider using this statement, "I do not find that funny."
"That offends me".
"I do not agree with your statement".
"Ouch."
Practice what you will say before an incident happens. That preparation provides confidence in the moment.
The more frequent biased, prejudice and stereotypes are disrupted it will not
have space to grow.
Be consistent in speaking up.
We all have blindspots in our thinking that need to be interrupted.
ASK QUESTIONS
“Why did you say/think that?”
“What do you mean by that?”
"What point are you trying to make by saying that?”
Be gentle and clear, tone and temperament matters.
Let us imagine that someone in your store location says, “These teenagers are so lazy.”
Your calm response can be, "Ouch, what do you mean"?
People can often make assumptions based on their own personal experience.
For instance, "I don’t need to approach her, she looks safe
to me".
Your response can be, "tell me more or tell me what you mean by that"?
Asking the right exploratory question can provide more context and cultural clues on how to proceed.
Stay away from aggressive questioning that can escalate a situation.
As you walk into your workplace and hear a stereotypical statement - be firm, confident & know that you are doing the right thing by interrupting it.
EDUCATE
Be willing to learn about another person’s culture.
Learn and/or explain why a term or phrase is offensive.
Sit in the seat of another person’s perspective.
The burden is on you to self educate vs asking numerous questions of someone who is marginalized. That can be exhausting.
Be willing to Learn. Unlearn. Relearn
I recently watched the ABC show, “A Soul Of Nation” during May, AAPI (Asian American & Pacific Islander) heritage month. I learned about their diverse and rich cultures. AAPI communities represent over 50 ethnic groups speaking 100 different languages. It all started with me being willing to learn.
In certain instances it is important to let the person know why a statement is offensive. Ignorance or lack of diverse cultural context could be at play.
Please note - it is not
your job, as a leader, to educate everyone else about bias.
Leaders should start by recognizing their own biases and stereotypes of other groups of people.
As a business owner, your sphere of influence & our world, you communicate from a position of authority.
Your words carry more weight.
Your words carry influence.
Your SILENCE
carries influence.
Casual and not so casual bias can thrive in our work spaces if we take the silent approach.
Changing values to promote respect does not happen overnight.
The change you want to see in the world will start with you.
Model the behavior you want your teams to display.
Set the tone and speak up.
DPI encourages you to speak up to disarm hate in your social, personal and professional settings.
When you speak up it empowers a different type of behavior.
DPI provides a comprehensive “Belonging Matters” curriculum and training to help mitigate discrimination in the workforce. You can view the 30 second "Belonging Matters" trailer video
HERE.
Visit DPI's website
to book a complimentary conversation.
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
~Martin Luther King Jr.